The majority of people who live in Salt Lake City are LDS, the Church of Latter Day Saints. Much of the remaining population, whom I met at Halloween parties, are LDM, the Church of Latter Day Marxists. The LDM are just as religious and just as doctrinaire as their brethern LDS.

The typical party conversation is based on Saint Doonesbury. It goes: ‘George Bush is stupid and is run by a gang from Halliburton.’

My main problem with this piece of doctrine is that I want to get in on the action.

I have looked up Halliburton on Yahoo and it is listed as a public company on the New York Stock Exchange with the symbol: HAL.

The problem with the LDM ideology is that if I had bought and held HAL in the summer before George Bush was elected or even two years later, before the Twin Towers Jihad Murder, I would now have half as much money.

Yes, George Bush and the Twin Towers Jihad Murder have reduced the value of my Halliburton holdings by 50%.